“To Age is to Fail” - Growing Older, and Being a Women
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| Channel 4's "How Not to Get Old" |
Have you ever been at a drugstore or supermarket and find yourself going through anti-aging products or treatments that would prevent or “vanish” wrinkles around the eyes or make your face look younger? Because I have…
We are living in a world where getting older, especially for women, is more of a hassle rather than a celebration of a life full of experiences and acquisition of knowledge. For women, the idea of aging “is a problem that need to be solved, no matter what.” It is not a surprise to see how this damaging pop culture and messages from media of demonising older women make aging look like a threat and crime, or like a sort of disease you try to find a cure for. Many famous actresses have been put to shame when they do not do something to keep that youthful appearance.
Every day you will get messages such as “How to Look Younger in 1 Week”, “Easy Ways to Drop Off a Decade”, “How to Get Rid of Those Unwanted Laugh Lines”, etc. Media make women idealize this idea of perfection that consists of always looking young and that just a small sign of aging should make you do “something about it”, and therefore putting pressure on being young which equivalent to being beautiful according to the media. American advertising thrives by making women feel unhappy with themselves and that buying a product will make them feel better, which is why we can observe all these promotional pieces, commercials, and reality television programs that encourage plastic surgery, botox injections, and other medical interventions to keep women looking younger. It seems that “we fear aging more than we fear death”.
There is a television program that has received several critics due to its damaging content to women’s self-image call “How Not to Get Old”. This program presents the “ultimate consumer guide” on how to keep looking younger for longer by providing “advice” on the many options women have in order to look younger such as various surgical, therapeutic and cosmetic processes which claimed to help maintain youthful appearance. TV programs like this one plays on insecurities and perceived imperfections.
Even worse, we sometimes fail to realize that these negative messages toward women’s aging can also be found in movies or shows for children. As an example, we have women in fairy tales and their quest for everlasting youth, such as the wicked queen in Snow White, of the godmother in Sleeping Beauty or the stepmother in Cinderella. It is not a hidden message that they all prize beauty above all else, and that they are fearful of growing old and worse than that, they envy a more youthful women. Therefore, it is very sad and frustrating to see all these messages women receive even when they are little kids.
Moreover, we cannot deny that sexism another factor affecting women’s perception on aging. Sexism, without a doubt, is a harsh and bitter reality, whether it is in the form of body shaming, sexual harassment, aging, etc. when it comes of aging, there seems to be a big difference on how men and women are perceived; and as women age, this takes an ugly turn for most women. Unfortunately, women have to face this double standard when it comes of aging, especially in popular culture. As women age, they are viewed as “old” much sooner than men, suffer from agist stereotypes earlier than men, and generally judged on their appearance more harshly than men. It has gotten to the point where women with lines on their face are instantly seen as looking old.
What is wrong with accepting that an ageing body is beautiful as well? Aging is a natural and inevitable process and older faces are proof of strength and character that life and experience have given us. There should be no shame feelings when it comes of aging. The pressure on our generation to look young is robbing women of the opportunity to experience contentment with who we are. I believe that the first thing we should do to revert these stereotypes and media’s messages on the “ideal beauty and perfection” is to accept the fact that we were designed to be this way, we were meant to grow older and embrace and love our bodies during the different stages in our life. I also think that there are too few approaches or campaigns to promote aging as a natural and normal process, to encourage beauty in all its forms and let others know that we do not have to go through surgical and cosmetic procedures to stop what is inevitable and completely normal.
Some questions for you:
- In what ways do you think we as part of society can help to decrease the negative messages media sends to women in terms of aging?
- Do you believe this trend is now affecting and targeting younger girls as well?
I love your blog! This hits close to home for me as the daughter of a man who always dated much younger women and was open about not being attracted to women his own age. I was receiving the message that women are worthless after 40 from not only the media, but also from home. It was interesting to note the difference of opinion when people would find out about my dad dating young women. A lot of men thought he was really cool for dating young women (even saying offensive things like "your dad is a pimp"), and most women thought it was disgusting. It's not my place to judge anyone for the age gap in their relationship, but it did have an effect on me. It caused me anxiety at a young age and made me examine my face for wrinkles even in high school. Luckily, as I got older I realized a lot of the world doesn't feel the same way as my dad. I realized that there is a glow that comes from inner joy and makes a person beautiful. I decided that I didn't want to waste my life worrying about aging. I'd rather live my life because I couldn't stop aging anyway, so I might as well worry about something I could actually control. Beauty truly does come from within and a joyous spirit is much more attractive than a face full of botox.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how to change the amount of negative media messages that are being broadcast, but I do know that I can limit my exposure (and if I had children, their exposure) to these harmful media messages. I have noticed that the more television I watch, the worse I feel about my appearance. This is because advertisements for beauty products are touted to treat a problem that I didn't even know I had and create anxiety about the "problem." There are ads for things like anti-aging hand cream. I thought I only had to worry about my face!! I absolutely believe that the media is targeting young girls. I hear things on TV like, "It's never too early to start thinking about wrinkles." The media tries to send out the message that girls should start an anti-aging regimen as young as middle school because once the wrinkles are visible, it's too late. I think telling these young girls that beauty comes from within would cause nothing more than a snarky eye-roll, but modeling that for them and exposing them to older women who are beautiful because they are full of joy would have a strong effect on girls who are worried about aging.
Yes, I believe that anti-aging projects are becoming used as much, if not more, by women in their forties, thirties, and maybe even twenties. In general, any anti-aging creams or similar 'medicines' (a term I'd use loosely) speak to the larger problem of beauty as a very set ideal that doesn't allow for perspective. No wrinkles, laugh lines, freckles, etc., etc., allowed, in other words. This isn't realistic any more than the Barbie model Dr. Choate told us about several modules ago. I can't speak to how we might change this stereotype of aging women as less-than except to start looking at how any signs of aging are a mark of a life lived (and thus worthy of respect). To give an example, laugh lines can indicate an aging woman's sense of humor and joyful outlook on life, something we could all enjoy and get behind, I feel. Maybe the best means would be to start by replacing airbrushed twenty-something models on magazine with images of real women in their fifties, sixties and seventies, etc., and what women and girls can aspire to while they age. Thoughts?
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
ReplyDeleteSince I turned thirty, I have noticed the anti-aging messages more often. I also noticed my own gray hairs and wrinkles since turning thirty, so I'm not quite sure which came first! :) The point is, that the anti-aging market is huge and is ready and waiting for women to "need" its services.
I am also glad that you pointed out the double-standard women face when it comes to aging. I have heard (and possibly said myself) countless times how handsome or distinguished certain men look as they age because of their gray hairs and so forth. So, why is it that women are not considered by society to be more beautiful or distinguished when they show signs of aging in the same manner? It is my thought that, in order to combat this double-standard, women must demonstrate positive responses to their own aging processes first. Instead of despising her smile lines and wrinkles, a woman can choose to remind herself that her face reflects many years of smiles and laughter. Instead of feeling repulsed by her sagging skin on her mom-belly or breasts, a woman can choose to remember that her skin represents the strength of her body to carry and provide for a living being. Habitually reframing these negative thoughts about our aging bodies in this way may actually produce a change in thinking that affects, not only our own self-images, but also the way in which we view other aging women. In other words, as we see and point out the beauty in ourselves as we age, we can better do the same for others (and change the messages we give and receive as a society).
This is another great topic! I have seen many anti-aging products and commercials, and I have heard women in my life talk about how they don't like their appearance because they look old. I agree that acceptance is the first step. The media has such a big influence on women, and if messages were given to accept and embrace the aging process, I think many women would begin to change their views, especially if celebrities or other women they look up to are doing it. I do think this trend is affecting younger girls and women as well. Women as early as their 20s are beginning to think about aging and how to "avoid" it. I like how you pointed out these trends in children's movies, and I think that can send a negative message to girls at a very young age. Similarly, TV commercials that may be targeting older women can also have an effect on young girls that see them.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog post! I believe a lot of pressure is placed on women, as we've learned, throughout their whole life cycle. These messages are targeted to older women to feel like something that naturally occurs is wrong. In the black community, getting old isn't really a pressure as the idea that "Black don't crack" has proven to stand true. Black women looks youthful for a very long time. Even once they get old, it's hard to guess their age. Unless they don't take care of themselves. Older women may be looked down upon because they are no longer considered "hot" or appealing to society and maybe their body doesn't function the same. I do agree that there is a double-standard that men aren't pressured as much to focus on their appearance as they age. Also, that their gray hair and wrinkles are signs of wisdom. This trend is targeting young girls. However, I believe that the younger the girl is, the older she's trying to be. Once they reach the ages between 17-24, they consider that to be their "prime." Afterwards, they are doing everything to avoid getting/appearing older such as keeping up with fashion trends or doing things younger people would do. I believe that women should be accepted in any state or age range they are within.
ReplyDeleteI would agree aging is talked about way more than it needs to be. I remember growing up and being told I look older than my sister who is 5 years older than me. I was very disturbed by this at the time because I kept thinking Im gonna look so old when Im in my 20s-30s. At such a young age I should not have been worried about this. Now in my 20s I don't wear much makeup or do anything fancy with my hair, but when I do go get something done the stylist are always quick to mention how to prevent aging and what way to not pull my skin. I honestly don't pay any mind to this and I'm sure I will be covered in wrinkles when I am older. I honestly don't think I will care. Wrinkles to me are a sign of experience and a life well lived. I bet I will find myself taking better skin care measures when I am older but I wont go to extremes. To me as a society we view the older generations with less respect than we should. I love my grandparents to death and would never disrespect them, however kids now get away with too much. Saying their grandparents are annoying or not taking the time to explain things to them. As a whole our society should respect the older generation not make fun or be disgusted by their wrinkles and aging features.
DeleteAwesome post! I think this is such a relevant topic given the negativity that is placed upon aging women. I think one way we can begin to decrease the negative messages the media sends to women is by not feeding into it. We see so many women purchasing aging creams, changing their wardrobe, and even going as far as getting surgery to decrease the physical effects of aging. If more women made a point to embrace and appreciate aging as well as the physical and emotional changes that come with it, there would be a decrease in age shaming in the media. This growing trend differently has its effects on younger girls because it reinforces the thought that old age cannot be beautiful and that once you reach a certain age life as you know it is over. This, however, is far from the truth. It actually saddens me to think that we are so consumed with outward appearance that we no longer value life itself.
ReplyDeleteThe shocking thing to me is how expensive these beauty products are that claim to make wrinkles and lines disappear. I would imagine most of them are just some type of lotion that the producer claims can help fight the signs of aging. But women are sucked into this pit because they are told they are not supposed to age at all. We see products like Just For Men Touch of Grey which is a hair coloring product for men that allows them to brush in just as much color as they want but not fully get rid of the grey. Keeping just a little of the grey shows that the man has experience and it is seen as a good thing. But, to my knowledge, there isn't anything like this marketed towards women because the desire is to still look young. Why are men allowed to age but women aren't? This type of thinking falls right in line with everything we have seen so far this semester. Women are supposed to be super heroes and do all things to an ungodly standard. Fighting the aging process is just another task that falls on their shoulders.
ReplyDeleteIxzel,
ReplyDeleteLove this! As a 26 year old female I am already worrying about fine lines and wrinkles, but I feel guilty when I look at the prices of skin care and question whether or not I’m being selfish if I choose to buy some. Something I wanted to mention is the drastic lengths some women go to to fight aging. For example, I have a family member who is in her 50’s and has a 10 year old daughter. She is insecure about her age and is always comparing herself to the moms of her daughter’s friends who are in their thirties. She does all the botox and expensive facial creams, but as an extra precaution she avoids exposing her skin to the sun. So when we go to the beach she wears long pants and turtle necks, which prevents her from spending a lot of time with her daughter on the beach or in the pool. This is so sad to me- and a little crazy. I absolutely love being outside and will never give it up, but I am seeing more and more women avoiding spending time outdoors because they are worried about skin damage and early aging.
This is such an interesting topic to me because literally everyone is aging every second of every day. Its not something that we can prevent, no one is immune to aging. You can certainly try to not look your age but when it comes down to it you are a numerical age and that will always be moving upward. And then its like why are women a target of aging, men age too. But for men it is almost seen as a good, mature thing whereas for women its a death sentence. You always hear about men trading in for a newer model but until the recent craze of cougars, it was not a thing for women. I think that it is okay to age, it means that we have experienced life ad have wisdom to offer people. Get off the fact that there are wrinkles in the skin and start accepting the fact that this means she knows what she is talking about.
ReplyDeleteI do believe that this trend is affecting younger girls but only when they reach a certain age. I think until they get to that age they are still trying to look as old as they can. Take Kylie Jenner for example, I do not even think that she can legal drink yet but she looks 30. After a women hits that age that they feel like they look too old them comes the anti-aging treatments and wrinkle lifts. Its okay to get older.
I feel that this is a huge focus that is often overlooked. In the east they look to their elders as being important figure heads for decision making and ask for assistance in making the hard life decisions where as here in the west they view elders as more of a burden or something to be ashamed of. It is an interesting aspect to the binds that women face as I feel that this further complicates the dilemma of being a female as it puts people in a position to feel like they need to race the clock to be successful in business and social settings. It is fascinating on the whole as there are multimillion (if not billion) dollar industries in both the east and the west to combat the perception of aging.
ReplyDeleteAll in all, I think this is a harmful thing as it causes women another aspect to feel like they have failed in some way. It really can be an issue as this puts further stress and basically sets women up for failure, which further drives self esteem lower, making life harder than ever before.
I think the issue of ageism is certainly one of growing importance within our society. Women are judged harshly for looking anything other than young, fit and hip. I think this is a problem that is clearly driven by the abundance of media that is available to us. We are shown young women whom are successful or beautiful and having fun and are told that is the only real way to be considered beautiful.
ReplyDeleteConversely, especially in the workplace, men who look a bit older are celebrated for having experience, knowledge and wisdom that others do not. Women are targeted for things that make them look younger, while men are targeted with things like "Touch of Gray" that help them put more "experience" look in their hair. I think the only way to work away at this problem is for everyone to accept women that are aging as truly better, wiser, more responsible and as beautiful as younger women.
This is a great topic to discuss, and I am also doing a similar topic for my blog so a lot of what you said resonated with me. I think this is a major issue that causes women unneeded stress. Everyone ages and it is a shame to me that there is so much negativity around it. If anything, people should be grateful for the opportunity to age and experience many different life phases, but American culture is so focused on appearance that that is all we hear about on the topic of aging. Surely there are positive aspects to aging, like knowing who you are and being truly happy with yourself and knowing what you want out of life and how to achieve it. I am not saying that changing physically is easy breezy, because I know it is not that simple, but I also think media messages have a lot of influence over how people think about aging. I do not like the phrase "fighting aging" because it makes it seem like you have to go against the natural aging process. Instead I think it would be better if there were more messages about how to make the aging process more comfortable and doing things that are better for your body and learning about what your body needs during the changes that come with aging.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!! It's been said that boys and girls mature at different rates, with the latter being much quicker to grow up. But what about growing old?unfortunately men and women age differently. However it's sad that society views women differently as they age versus men.
ReplyDeleteMen have the advantage when it comes to skin and aging. The male hormone testosterone makes men’s skin about 25 percent thicker than women’s skin. Men also have more moisture on their skin because they typically sweat more.
All this adds up to fewer signs of aging on men’s skin than women’s skin. Societal norms for women to look younger increase anxiety over skin changes and help fund the beauty industry as women reach for anti-aging creams and serums to slow the appearance of aging on their skin.
In general, both men and women tend to gain weight as they age. In men, the hormone testosterone helps sustain muscle tissue. So around age 50 when a decrease in testosterone becomes apparent, men often start losing weight because they are losing muscle mass.
For women, the tendency to gain weight continues for another 15 or more years. Women typically don’t start losing weight due to loss of muscle mass until about age of 65.
I want to age gracefully and continue exercise and live a stress free lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading your blog I kept thinking about the following quote by Mahatma Ghandi, “A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest member.” Judging current American trends, we are not great. I agree with you that our society looks at aging as something that needs to be fixed. Aging is no longer celebrated and wisdom is not valued. I believe we can decrease the negative messages media sends by simply rejecting the beliefs. Our society is driven by consumerism, and if we stop contributing our money then the messages will become less and less prevalent. This of course begins by demanding that media cease to use Photoshop in favor of natural and realistic body types, which drives the unrealistic standards for women.
I definitely believe this trend is affecting and targeting young girls. As we learned earlier in the semester, media and the beauty industry are targeting young girls which has led to hypersexualization. If we leave this trend unchecked, women we will continue to see a rise in mental health disorders and suicide.
I think as a society we need to be more accepting of religion, age, gender, and all other factors that make us unique. Growing up should come with responsibility, wisdom, and not scrutiny. I believe this negative image is clearly usually used to describe females as they age as opposed to men. I think instead of targeting certain young females who are already vulnerable to what the media has to say, they should retail their products to men and females equally, and target adults. And although I know this is tough because in the real world these companies are targeting these specific populations because they know they will buy their product and make money. So unfortunately I don’t know the exact way this trend will discontinue.
ReplyDeleteI do not originally think the negative image was targeted to appeal to younger girls, but just as everything else in life is has eventually trickled down to these young eyes as they look to be just like their peers/mom. Many youth sports will have athletes put on massive amounts of makeup for their sport whether it is for pageants, track and field, soccer, volleyball, or dance/cheer. It is not custom for young girls to place the make up on because they will be in the “spotlight” and must impress.
I honestly believe that what it will take is what is happening, it is the same with less ideal body sizes. There will need to be a cultural movement to re frame what it means to get older and what it really looks like. As for the gender differences, where it exists, this is one area where the gap is small because it is a point in life where the gender boxes do not mean much because every humans body begins to break down around the same time. If anything it could potentially help our life go out with a little bit more connectedness. Overall though, I think we could see an interesting shift of mentality on getting older if a pattern of partnering later and having a family gets pushed back.
ReplyDeleteWith younger girls, I feel they receive a lot from the stereotyped image they see in movies and shows, the older woman trying to look fun or fashionable, those who have given up and ect. but also from all the adds for makeup that rejuvenates and keeps you young. The adds for products like these using younger models who do not need them sends the message that there is some change to be feared and you must start now trying to stop it. It is an evil genius market because our bodies have no other path than aging.
This was a great topic to cover because I do not think that it is addressed often. I also am perplexed by the amount of anti-aging products that are overflowing in the aisles at stores. Women are definitely held to an entirely different standard than men on this issue. In fact, it seems that men are not held to a standard at all on this while women are expected to meet an extremely high standard. Men never seem to be criticized for their aging bodies or their wrinkles. However, women are expected to prevent this even from a very young age. I follow a vlogger on YouTube who is only 26 and she is already using eye cream to reduce and prevent wrinkles. This seems to be something that is feared and avoided at all costs. I do not understand why women are held to such a high expectation of beauty and why they have to be defined by it. Our society is so quick to judge women on their appearance so of course women would be afraid of aging if they feel like their worth is going to plummet is their appearance does. I do believe that this trend is affecting younger girls as well because they are already getting these messages from the shows and movies you watched like the examples you showed. I think the only way to work to break this cycle is to remove focus from beauty equaling to worth and focusing on inner qualities and characteristics instead. We can help our children with this by teaching and encouraging them.
ReplyDeleteI believe as a society we can decrease the negative messages and ageism in general by focusing on the value that years of maturity bring to a person and to society overall. Surely, our bodies are on decline, but it doesn’t have to be such a dramatic decline, if we focus on preventative measures such as exercise and nutrition, we would be able to promote healthy and graceful ways of aging. We should strive for living the longest in the best way possible, just like we compete in so many other areas of life. We should aim to value older men and women just as much as we celebrate babies and the symbolic beginning of life.
ReplyDeleteIt is truly sad that in beauty permeated fields such as modeling and acting older models and actresses are having to undergo extreme cosmetic procedures just to stay competitive and still land roles. Not all Hollywood movies push out older women, some casting directors will help actresses transition from high school/college student roles, to young mothers, to middle aged women (divorcees and the like), to grandmothers, etc.
Finally, I do believe the trend is affecting younger girls because each time the advertisements are targeting younger and younger audiences. Now ladies in their twenties are being made aware of premature aging, and lines of expressions in their faces and under eye circles and bags.
Thank you for sharing Ixzel! I really enjoyed reading your post and more recently have become much more aware about the difficulties of women and aging! I laughed at Liz’s comment that there are ads for anti-aging hands and she thought she only needed to worry about her face! I couldn’t agree more! The media and even other women in my life have added this pressure to always stay looking young. It really does make age so much more intimidating and scary….who wants to live that way? I want to celebrate each new year of life that I am given including the changes to my body, face, hair, etc….like we have all said it is inevitable! I also see the double standard of aging men versus aging women….my dad gets complimented all the time on how well he is aging while my mom has to stand beside him with no compliments to how great she looks. Regardless how we look, really it is the person we should be celebrating anyway! Just being around women in their 30s has given me some not so exciting things to look forward to. While I think it is good to be honest in the difficult things that come with aging, let’s try not to harp on those. I hope to be an "encourager" to women around me that aging is okay and that beauty is from within!
ReplyDeleteThe trend of actively advertising against aging is definitely targeted towards younger women. It is impossible to stop younger girls in their adolescence from being affected as they are constantly bombarded with this message from various media outlets. Right now, it is not necessarily the drive for youthfulness but the need to be perfect or desirable that drives younger women. As Reagan mentioned in a previous post, Kylie Jenner was not even out of her teen years before she began utilizing a plastic surgeon to alter her appearance in an effort to reach unrealistic beauty standards. In this case, it was her lips but it is very likely that decades from now she will be using that same doctor to fill in the laugh lines near her eyes.
ReplyDeleteTo decrease negative messages towards women about aging, there needs to be a change in society itself. The advertisements women see in the media exist because there is a demand for them. Commercials may have some impact but the bulk of this comes from what women experience from the people around them. As mentioned by the author, the first real experience with aging is often the way people treat you rather than seeing the lines in your face deepening. The stigma around aging begins well before the presence of wrinkles is recognizable. Media portrayals of elderly women that is more hospitable and less judgmental would be nice, too.